The Double K Farm for At Risk Youth - How it Starts

[stands_for_hope]

It had been a hard year for the Kents.

The loss of a father, a husband, had hollowed out mother and son, though thankfully they'd managed to make due on the farm between the both of them. But that was just the financial parts. The farm felt empty without Jonathon Kent, their home felt empty, and Clark...

Clark was so angry with everyone, with everything. It wasn't fair.

He could do so many things, so many things, but he hadn't been able to do anything when his father's heart had given out. He hadn't been able to do anything when Jonathon Kent had dropped dead in a field while Clark was at school. He'd just been there to get pulled into the office, take the phonecall from his mother.

It was doubly hard to go through his days now. Before, there'd been a bit of a barrier between the people who liked to tease him; Jonathon Kent had been respected and folks had looked out for Clark because of it. They still looked for him, but now it was more about sympathy and less of a willingness to put themselves between him and trouble.

That's why he was here. Twelve years old, pushed against a chain link fence, holding onto the fence pole for their sake as much as his own. Anger boiled up inside him, anger enough to make his eyes start to lighten to red, anger enough to make him want to do things he couldn't do, shouldn't do. Because people were mean and cruel and they picked on weakness like a pack of jackals, even if the weakness was feigned.

I can't do it. I can't hurt anyone.

It was like a screen door trying to hold back a tidal wave. He was shaking and his eyes were so hot. He just hoped he could hold on long enough for them to get bored. Long enough for someone to wander by. He just had to hold on.

Comments

[kolodnoykovki]

"Happiness isn't going to hurt anybody. Least not us," Bucky assured, wrapping his arm around Steve and squeezing Clark's shoulder with the other hand. "I swear. We've got plenty of space there at your farm, and we've got more places around here where there aren't people. We can keep your secret and you can try things, too. This might've been luck with me and Steve, but that doesn't mean you can't ever do anything."

[stands_for_hope]

"You don't understand," Clark said quietly. "There's a reason I can do things. And that means I have to be really really careful."

[kolodnoykovki]

Bucky went quiet to listen - and then when Clark was done, he nodded. "Okay. So we'll be careful. I might not understand now, but I'll learn."

[stands_for_hope]

He looked at Steve, and then Bucky.

"I'll show you guys tomorrow after school. You should know the whole thing, why it's so important."

He just hoped his friends stayed his friends after that.

[kolodnoykovki]

"Okay." He nodded - and then, seeing the worry that was all through Clark, he pulled him into a hug. "It's going to be okay, Clark. I promise."

[stands_for_hope]

"You don't know how weird I am. I just don't want you to be afraid of me."

Steve shook his head.

"No way. Never. You can ask Buck. I'm not afraid of anything. ...trust me, he hates it."

[kolodnoykovki]

"You might be strong enough to squeeze a metal post, but you float when you laugh. How am I going to be afraid of you?" Bucky shook his head. "And Steve's right. He's not afraid of anything. And neither am I. You're our friend, Clark. That's not gonna change."

[stands_for_hope]

"What if I said I was a demon? O-or some kinda mutant? Or... or an alien?"

Steve shrugged.

"You helped get Bucky a place to stay. You're always tops in my books."

[kolodnoykovki]

"See?" Bucky squeezed him tight. "We're your friends. If you're a demon, then you're not a really good one. If you're a mutant, so what - we've heard about mutants forever. And if you're an alien, you pass for human really, really well. What matters is that you're here now and you're a good person."

[stands_for_hope]

Which was when Clark broke down and cried, his arms going around the two of them like steel bars. Exceptionally gentle steel bars as he held them both and let the tears flow.

He'd heard his father's heart stutter and he'd stayed at school because his dad had told him not to show what he could do. He'd been so careful after the bus and there were bruises on kids that he knew he could prevent if he'd just done the right thing and helped. He didn't know what to do, but he knew that Steve and Bucky believed in him and that felt so good and so bad all at once.

[kolodnoykovki]

"Hey..." Bucky pulled him close, tucked his chin over Clark's head, and held him. "Hey. It's okay. It's okay, you cry however much you need to..." He withdrew one hand and he stroked Clark's hair, just like he'd stroked Steve's so many time. "We've got you."

[stands_for_hope]

Steve looked over at Bucky and that look said firmly that whatever Clark could do, he was far too sweet to let people mess with him and they'd have their work cut out for them.

[kolodnoykovki]

Without having to say a word, Bucky answered, nodding, and he pulled the both of them close. He wasn't as strong as Clark, but he could still hold on, clutching them both against him. "Everything's going to be okay now. We've all got each other, just how it should be."

[stands_for_hope]

That just made him cry a little harder. He'd never thought they'd feel like a family again after his father died. Now... he felt happy but there was also guilt. He had an older brother now. But- but- but-

[kolodnoykovki]

"It's okay." And those words became a gentle, quiet litany as he held, and even rocked, the two people he now knew that he'd put his life on the line for. He wasn't going to let anything in the world hurt them, even if one was miles stronger than him. He was sweet, gentle, vulnerable in ways the world had already taken from Bucky, and damned if Bucky let anyone take that from him. These two were his. Period. And he'd fight anyone who even thought about hurting them. "I'm not gonna let go."

[stands_for_hope]

Clark took a minute, but soon enough he dried his tears on his sleeve and nodded as he pushed himself up to sitting.

"Sorry. It happens sometimes."

When he thought about his dad.

Steve shrugged.

"Nothing wrong with crying. Mom's friend from work used to say that boys should avoid 'toxic masculinity' to improve their lifespans."

He turned to Bucky with a shrug.

"I'm not totally sure what it means, but she seemed to think crying was healthy.' Then he looked over at Clark. "Unless it's bad for mutant alien demons or something."

But Steve was grinning and Clark actually let out a little laugh at that.

[kolodnoykovki]

And Bucky smiled gently, rubbing his back. "I cried for months after my family died," he said, "so it's okay. It's natural. All the social workers told me so."

He'd gone through his own issues after his parents and sister died. Suddenly being alone after having spent all his life in a small apartment with them, having known Mom, Dad, and Rachel, church services...

He still missed them sometimes, but not as much as he had started out missing them. Not as much as Clark still missed his dad.

[stands_for_hope]

Clark ducked his head.

"Just don't mention him around Mom too much. She gets real quiet and I know she cries, but she always tries to hide it and it hurts her to hold it in."

[kolodnoykovki]

"I won't," Bucky assured. "I promise." He didn't want to hurt anyone, especially the woman who was giving him a roof over his head.

[stands_for_hope]

"She's trying to be strong for me. I told her that's silly but--"

Steve nodded and hugged Clark's arm. He knew.

[kolodnoykovki]

"Has she had a chance to cry?" he asked, rubbing Clark's back. Right now, to Bucky at least, it was looking like neither of them had really taken the time to mourn.

[stands_for_hope]

He nodded slowly.

"I stayed with Grandpa for a few days and she stayed with my Aunt."

[kolodnoykovki]

And Bucky nodded his approval. "Good. That's important." Or so his social workers had said.

[stands_for_hope]

"My councillor said it was good. So did Doc Greenwood. Mostly she's good. She's just lonely a lot."

[kolodnoykovki]

"Well, me and Steve found you," Bucky smiled. "Maybe somebody will find your mom soon."