stands_for_hope | At Home with Clark and Jim

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house of am

At Home with Clark and Jim

[continued from here]

They'd fallen into a routine pretty easily.

Clark had managed to write up something about the church bust without incriminating either of them, which meant that his Perry had been pleased enough with his work for the day and had only yelled at him for five minutes about his failure to show up in the office the whole day. Lois had ribbed him a little, which had been remarked upon as she usually gave the new guy hell if he did anything remotely out of the line, and then she'd ribbed him a lot. He hadn't minded too terribly much since he had visited her afterwards at her apartment and she'd done plenty of kissing to make it better.

With a second person in the apartment, he'd started to fix it up a little, bringing home new linens, keeping the fridge stocked more regularly, and he'd even managed to find a new couch for them through a very kindly older woman and Craigslist.

True to his word, he'd gotten some rudimentary identification for Jim and he walked through the door with a spring in his step, closing the door behind him and plopping it down on the kitchen table with a smile.

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He looked up and offered a small smile. Not much - barely enough to be called a smile at all, but it was enough to acknowledge that he understood.

Clark looks genuinely pleased before the thing he'd been thinking about earlier slipped back into the forefront of his mind. It's visible, but he rallies.

"I might even have a pair of steel toes in my things. I did a lot of odd jobs traveling and while I didn't have to worry about it myself, the foremen at a couple of them wouldn't let you on the site for insurance reasons. If you don't mind wearing a couple of pairs of socks for tomorrow."

That flicker was enough to make Jim wonder. Not quite enough to ask, but enough for him to nod. "I don't mind. I've done worse things than two pairs of socks."

"Sounds good. I'll dig them out tonight."

And then he was eating his food. After dinner. He'd mention it after dinner. He would.

God, he was terrible at waiting on things like this. Patience with people? Of course, but patience on things that needed doing was not his strong point.

The undercurrent was enough to have him on edge. Still, he focused on eating before he focused on anything else. No matter what, he would survive it better with a full stomach, even if that feeling was enough to make him wonder if he needed to pack what belongings he had and find another place in the city to shelter.

Odd how that felt like a loss.

As he ate, he tried to pin names to feelings. What was it that made him so uncertain? He was sure, at least in part, that it was an old, ingrained instinct that came from those memories he didn't want. Clark wasn't going to act against him. Plans wouldn't have been made just earlier in the night if he was. Clark wasn't like him. Didn't have that level of duplicity that he could fall to so easily - which was why his 'activities' caused him so much trouble. That was what made this all the stranger.

After about five minutes, Clark finally flopped back into the chair.

"I'm terrible at this. Really really terrible. It's just... there's something I want to tell you about and I'm not sure whether you want to know or whether you'd just like to go about your life as we're going because this? You and me and dinner and the new job? It's great. It's..."

He breathes out and looks right at Jim.

"It's home. Like I haven't felt for a while."

Since his father had died. The apartment was exactly the right size for the two of them, felt filled with the two of them. Making plans to go home for Thanksgiving, buying baseball tickets... they were friends and the best part, the part Clark had never had, they were friends without lies in the middle.

"But I can't not tell you. Because you should know."

He huffed out a breath.

"Lois thinks she might have found some HYDRA ties in the local government. Deep ties. She's sure she's onto something and Lois has a nose for this kind of thing and I wasn't sure if you'd want to know or if you just want to leave that all behind, but it's in Metropolis so...."

He waved his hands somewhat helplessly.

Jim listened in silence as Clark spoke, first tense, then easing a little, and then tense once more. The moment Clark said Hydra, all expression disappeared from his face. His thoughts spun. They knew, they'd followed him-- but sense prevailed. They couldn't have gotten deep into the local government in the short span of time since he'd been in the city. That means they were there first, but in a city the size of Metropolis, that wasn't unlikely. If he knew, if he'd learned, anything about Hydra since regaining his senses, it was that they were everywhere.

But already, a plan was starting to come together in his mind. Depending on just how high up, he knew how he could flush them out. "Does she know who?" he asked, his voice toneless and low.

He breathed out in something almost like relief but not quite: Jim was still blankfaced and toneless and it wasn't a look he particular liked on the other man.

"She has some code names, aliases. She's still trying to solidify the connections and she doesn't want to air the laundry until she's sure so she doesn't miss any snakes slipping away. But she brought me in on it, which means she's pretty close."

With a single nod, he looked down at what remained of his food - not much, he'd finish it through stubbornness alone as his appetite had gone - then back up at Clark. "I can expose them. They'll want me back."

And it wouldn't even be hard to do. All he'd have to do is locate one address - the address of the highest of the lot - and show up after dark. That would be enough to have them rallying.

It looked like he'd gotten a job at exactly the wrong time.

He shook his head.

"No, that's... that's not necessary, Jim. They're public figures, and when Lois makes the connections, she'll be able to ruin them, each and every one, keep them from hurting people anymore."

He looked over at his friend.

"You don't need to put yourself in danger. Or at least, you don't have to do this alone."

"I'm not the only soldier Hydra had. She may be in danger," he said. It wasn't a matter of her being a woman (even if something old in his mind said that you fought to protect women, not let women fight) - it was a matter of Hydra being that dangerous. "If I draw them out, they'll be easier to contain."

And possibly easier to dispose of. Not every Hydra agent was trained to fight. If he could get his weaponry, it would be a matter of ease to take care of them once he got them in one place.

"If she's in danger, then we save her," he replied.

He held up his hands.

"I didn't tell you to try and keep you out of it. I just... think we should consider some options that won't endanger your new life. And Lois is already a target if she's digging; I've been keeping an ear on her since she told me."

He was usually keeping an ear on her.

"Why have them expecting you when we could surprise the soldiers and lull the head honchos into a false sense of security? They're not afraid of Lois as anything more than a threat to be eliminated. You, I'm pretty sure they're afraid of."

But Jim slowly shook his head. "They'd be afraid of me, but they would want to reclaim me. I'm a useful tool. I would need earplugs just in case they have... suggestions. Commands." After a deep breath, though, he shook his head and started to explain. "They would come together to reclaim me, to debrief me. You could follow to the location. Then Lois would have confirmation of their identities, and you and I could apprehend them."

And it would be better for him to be a target than for Lois. He could survive being a target. He'd survived worse.

He doesn't look happy. He really doesn't look happy. But Jim has a point and well, he'd told him. This was as much about what Jim wanted as dealing with the problem.

"We'll need to talk to Lois about this," he pointed out.

"And she'll understand, about keeping your identity a secret. She's kept my secret, after all. But I'm just making sure you're thinking of everything."

With that, he nodded. "I know there are... probably things in my mind that they put there. That I don't know about. But I know that if I show up in my tac suit and act docile..."

Docile was the word. Docile, subservient, passive. Letting them guide him, move him, let them think he was theirs.

"They will attempt to find the equipment they used to wipe my mind and they will attempt to use me again. My presence, if I follow their orders, will give them confidence. That can be their downfall."

Clark's head went up and down but it was a very begrudging nod all the same.

"I can restrain you if it comes down to it. But if we're going to do this, I want to know one thing:

"Do you want me to do anything specific if that happens? If something gets activated?"

Do you want me to take you back to Captain America and his people? isn't said but it's clear.

"If they manage to wipe me, kill me."

He didn't want to live like that again. Thinking about nothing but the mission. Thinking only about what he was ordered to do. Death was better.

"But I'll kill them before they succeed."

"They are not going to wipe you," he said, and his voice is firmer than anything he's probably heard from Clark his entire time there.

"I'll get you out before it gets to that. You can deck me if you want to, but that's non-negotiable."

He looked at Clark in silence, seconds ticking by before he nodded. "If they manage to trigger an obedience phrase, just knock me out. I'll heal out of it quickly, but I should stay down long enough for you to act."

"That I can do," he said, breathing out with a touch of relief. He let a bit of a smile creep onto his face as he looked at Jim, not mocking but warm.

"I'm not trading Lois's safety for yours, is all. After all, I let something happen to you, and Ma'd kill me."

Clark's mother. He already liked the woman. They'd only had the one phone conversation, but she'd been so welcoming. He couldn't think of her in any other way than warm and welcoming. It was surprising to be taken out of his planning by the thought of needing to survive for long enough to actually meet her. "I'll be fine," he said. "And I wouldn't want to disappoint your mother."

"You're a smart man, Jim," he said with the ghost of a grin.

He breathed out then and looked at his empty bowl before turning to look at Jim's.

"Sorry I ruined dinner."

"You didn't," Jim said, looking up from his bowl. "The curry is good. Anything spicier, I think I would have to get accustomed to, but the flavour is... unique."

That was the best word he could think of to describe it. "We... just have plans to make."

"I'll call Lois in a few minutes. She can tell you more, maybe see if anything makes sense to you out of what she's found."

He got up and put his dishes in the sink, running the water and washing them off before anything could solidify.

"And I'll make another version at the hotness level from tonight sometime next week. Maybe with a little tofu."

Jim nodded, getting up to help dry if Clark was going to wash. "I'm willing to try," he said. "The worst that can happen is that I find out I don't like it." But then, after a pause, he looked over to ask, "How much should we tell Lois about me?"

Clark knew better than he did. He'd not met Lois, even over the phone. That meant this was firmly in Clark's territory.

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