Superman, Firebrand, and the Metropolis Gang in... the World's Mightiest Duckling

[stands_for_hope]

[continued from here]

It took a few weeks, but soon enough, the apartment had become an entirely settled little commune between the five of them. Steve's things had arrived as Clint had promised, they'd been installed in the new apartment, and the group had made the changes they'd discussed for everyone's comfort with one addition: with Steve bunking with Jim, the room he'd initially intended to take had become a general office/library/art room for everyone to use when they felt like a bit of time alone. For as silly as the concept sounded, all of them had ended up using the room a time or two and it had definitely kept things peaceful despite the addition of two new people.

Considering that the apartment was home to four superheroes and a world-famous journalist, it was amazing how easily they all fell into a routine. Jim, Lois, and Clark would usually leave for work around the same time and Steve, always an early riser, had taken to making them something to munch for breakfast on the way after he returned from his morning run. Having also gotten a position at the community center (teaching kids art and art history), Steve would leave with Diana an hour or so after that. Everyone filtered back into the apartment at different times and whoever was feeling up to cooking would usually start dinner when they got in. If no one was feeling up cooking, one of the two 'old' men would treat takeout.

Today, however, Jim's site was currently closed for due to an issue with the plumbing contractors and some unfortunate flooding that had occurred overnight. That was why Clark texted Jim and invited him to come visit he and Lois at the Daily Planet offices and go out for lunch together.

Comments

[justakidfrombrklyn]

He put his other hand over Jim's as well and it said something that he managed not to fall over himself at the mention of Tony officiating their wedding.

"Me neither."

But he swallowed a little.

"That first time we really talked, I was... I was an ass. And so much of that was because I was afraid that I was going to screw everything up, lose you before I even got you back."

He turned to catch Jim's eye.

"It's part of why I didn't want to... well... live. After they woke me up. Nothing felt real, like it would be there when I opened my eyes next. So I just... floated through. Let things happen. Threw myself into things mostly for something to do. Tried... tried not to damage what little it seemed like I had."

He gave Jim's hand a squeeze.

"Then you came back. And I had a choice. You made that clear. I either lived, like I'd always lived, heart on my sleeve, convictions and scars and all... or it didn't matter what I had, because I'd spend so much time afraid, I wouldn't feel anything anyway."

He turned a little further, looking at Jim.

"I'm not telling you that's what you should do or how you should feel. That's not how figuring things out works. After all, you always had more sense than me. I'm just telling you, in my own way, as much as anyone can... I get it."

[kolodnoykovki]

"I'm still working on it," he agreed quietly. "Thank you for... For getting it. I know it's not..."

A slow breath and he leaned in to kiss his neck.

"I'll get better. I already am - I've just... got a few more things."

Right now, though, he had Steve. And he had a plan. So he stepped back and started unbuttoning his vest to make them even.

[justakidfrombrklyn]

"I noticed," Steve said, hoping he sounded encouraging.

"With the two of us in the hotel lobby. That smile on your face, your arm around me like a dame..."

He didn't sound in the least bothered by that. In fact, he sounded... honored. Like he'd always wanted to be right there, which, honestly, he had.

Steve gave Jim's arm a squeeze before heading for the bed, half-jumping on to test it before crawling up to let his head flop back against a pillow.

[kolodnoykovki]

"I'll... I'll be honest." He shucked his vest and started on his tie. "I've been, uh... I've been a little worried.. 'Cause I..." He turned halfway, looking more down at the floor than at Steve. "I've been seeing how Diana looks at you, and I've kind of been waiting for you to see it and... and go for it."

[justakidfrombrklyn]

He blushed a little and lowered his eyes, plucking a throw pillow from the bed to press between his hands, something to do.

"You miss how she looks at you, Jim?"

[kolodnoykovki]

"No." No, he hadn't, at all, and he knew he'd looked at her the same way a few times. "I just know that I'm with you. ...I guess it's that old fear rearing up again. Waitin' for you to find somebody better."

His tie joined his vest, and then went his shirt and his glove. It left him in a tank top, arm shining under the lights there in the room. "Guess I should know better by now, but I've always known you were better than me."

[justakidfrombrklyn]

That got a distinctly confused expression.

"Me find someone better? Me better than you?" And he looked so confused at the idea. Him being better than B--Jim. Jim who'd spent every day, every hour, working to help pay for his food, for his medicine, stayed up to make sure he breathed, held him close, loved him when he was nothing. When he had nothing.

Something went on behind his eyes before-- "Is this about Peggy?"

[kolodnoykovki]

"...What?" He looked up from where he was untying his shoes. "No. I know I was an ass about her, but I was happy you found somebody whose eyes were just for you."

[justakidfrombrklyn]

"You mean the first person who ever even eyed me," he pointed out, settling into the conversation a little, less brittle.

"And what's this nonsense about me being better than you? Cause it's the silliest thing to come out your mouth bar none."

[kolodnoykovki]

"You are better than me, Steve." His socks weren't quite as neat with his shoes as Steve's were, but it was old practice - lay his socks sideways across his shoes, let them air out, get an extra wearing out of them before they had to be washed. "You always have been. You were the good person. I was just the guy who could crack jokes and beat heads."

[justakidfrombrklyn]

Steve's arms crossed over his chest and Jim would recognize the stubborn look from a thousand back alley fights.

"You mean the guy who paid for my medicine? The guy who helped me out after my mom died? You mean that guy who put food in my belly and stayed up to watch my breathing and wrapped himself around me to keep me warm when the heat was shot? That guy? The one who's pretty much the only reason I'm still here in a thousand different directions? Cause from where I'm sitting, there's no better guy in this room. Never has been."

[kolodnoykovki]

"Do you think all those fantastic old paintings in the world would'a survived without guys getting their hands dirty to make sure they weren't destroyed? I made sure there was one more good thing in the world. It doesn't make me a good person. It just makes me good at taking care of a good thing." He shrugged as he walked over to the bed and sat on the edge. "And it's not hard to take care of what you love."

[justakidfrombrklyn]

Steve unfolded his arms to put one hand on Jim's shoulder.

"Bullshit," he said firmly, "And this one 'good thing' thinks you're pretty tops. Always have."

He leaned in a little.

"Any good I've done? I wouldn'ta been able to do it without the things you taught me, and I don't just mean how to throw a punch."

[kolodnoykovki]

Jim leaned into Steve's hand. "I... just know I love you. And I can't think of a single damn thing I taught you that would'a made you as good as you are."

[justakidfrombrklyn]

He caught Jim's eye, because he wanted him to see when he spoke.

"How about patience? How to bend a little, for everyone's sake. How to laugh at the little things, play, smile. How to let go and enjoy things, not worry so much. You taught me to follow my heart for myself too, to trust my skills when I had them, like the drawing. I mean... who looks at a colorblind kid and helps him get through art school, or as far as I got?"

He gave the shoulder a squeeze.

"I love you too. That's why I'm not gonna stand by and watch some dingaling insult my best guy. Not even when he's putting me up in a fancy hotel room."

And that came with a crooked smile.

[kolodnoykovki]

He ducked his head for a minute, wondering at himself. This didn't feel like him. This didn't feel like the confident asshole he knew he could be. But, a quiet voice reminded him from the back of his mind, he'd never been in love before, either. He smiled a little shyly, but then laid back and reached for Steve, arms wrapping around him. "C'mere."

[justakidfrombrklyn]

Steve went right for his arms, wrapping up close, letting his head rest on Jim's shoulder.

"Even if he's a damn gorgeous dingaling."

[kolodnoykovki]

"I do look damn nice tonight," he agreed with a low laugh, stroking Steve's back. "It's nice to show off for you for a change. Instead of showing off and saying it's for a girl but enjoying how you look at me. Just... only for you."

[justakidfrombrklyn]

He looked up at Jim.

"You wily sonnuva gun. And you wondered why the girls thought I was distracted."

[kolodnoykovki]

"It's hard to push you toward a girl while wishin' I could have you for myself," he answered, leaning up to press a light kiss to Steve's lips.

[justakidfrombrklyn]

"Not that it mattered. Why go out for burgers when you go home with filet mignon?"

He let his eyes slip closed, the soft blond lashes fluttering.

"You have no idea what that smile of yours does to my insides."

[kolodnoykovki]

"If it's anything like what you do to me... God, you're the artist and you're so fucking beautiful." His fingers slid up through Steve's hair. "Always have been. Always. Ivory and rose and gold and sapphire and I could never stand art museums 'cause all of it was just trying to measure up to you and fell so far short."

[justakidfrombrklyn]

"You coulda been a poet with that kinda talk," he said, not opening his eyes. He could talk about happiness all the live long day, but Jim also gave him something just as rare for him: peace. The roiling monster in his gut that demanded he go out, do things, fix everything he knows needs fixing... Jim's the only one who made it quiet.

[kolodnoykovki]

"Y'know one thing I really like?" he asked in a murmur, hands sliding down until they came to his waist. "I can still almost stretch my hands all the way around you."

[justakidfrombrklyn]

He shivered at the tone, just a little.

"Still skinny. They just piled some muscles on top."