"Seventy-something years," he says, quiet once again, "and I finally get my chance. I'm... it's no secret I've got a connection with the Earth. But something happened, an upsurge of energy. It broke through the shackles, let me get free, and I had to use-- I was still made of sand, but I managed to wrangle the energy to keep the city from shaking down around us.
"That's when I got to tell him that I was still me. That's when he realized--"
He shook his head and buried his face in Mike's shoulder for a moment, breathing low, in and out.
"...and practically... on the spot. So quick. So quick, he finds a solution to make me human again. So quick, so quick it was-- he forgot. He had to have. He fixed it so quickly after seventy fucking years--" and even he was amazed at the words that were coming out of him, foul language, those words about Wesley, his mentor.
"I couldn't even ask him. I couldn't ask him what'd taken him so long because he thought I'd been sleeping. He thought I'd been in stasis. I never got to ask him because it was keep it inside or break him, break my aunt-- they were both so old by then. I was terrified I'd give him a heart attack if I did, and they were so close, they loved each other-- she'd go right after."
He looked away.
"I left. I left, went off, watched... watched movies, television, traveled the world; I couldn't face him, couldn't face either of them. I could barely face my old friends, Wesley's friends, people who remembered me as Sandy the Golden Boy. Everything I'd lost and everything that was right there and all of it hurt; Wes and Aunt Dian, both of them so old, so frail, I couldn't even-- I couldn't bear to tell them.
"And then they died. I was off trying to figure out how the world worked and who I was now and Aunt Dian died, Wes died, and I couldn't-- they left me everything, everyone missed them, and I couldn't just... ruin it. I couldn't ruin their memory. So I couldn't tell anyone."
no subject
"That's when I got to tell him that I was still me. That's when he realized--"
He shook his head and buried his face in Mike's shoulder for a moment, breathing low, in and out.
"...and practically... on the spot. So quick. So quick, he finds a solution to make me human again. So quick, so quick it was-- he forgot. He had to have. He fixed it so quickly after seventy fucking years--" and even he was amazed at the words that were coming out of him, foul language, those words about Wesley, his mentor.
"I couldn't even ask him. I couldn't ask him what'd taken him so long because he thought I'd been sleeping. He thought I'd been in stasis. I never got to ask him because it was keep it inside or break him, break my aunt-- they were both so old by then. I was terrified I'd give him a heart attack if I did, and they were so close, they loved each other-- she'd go right after."
He looked away.
"I left. I left, went off, watched... watched movies, television, traveled the world; I couldn't face him, couldn't face either of them. I could barely face my old friends, Wesley's friends, people who remembered me as Sandy the Golden Boy. Everything I'd lost and everything that was right there and all of it hurt; Wes and Aunt Dian, both of them so old, so frail, I couldn't even-- I couldn't bear to tell them.
"And then they died. I was off trying to figure out how the world worked and who I was now and Aunt Dian died, Wes died, and I couldn't-- they left me everything, everyone missed them, and I couldn't just... ruin it. I couldn't ruin their memory. So I couldn't tell anyone."
He sat up a little and looked at Mike.
"I've never told anyone. Until today. Until you."